Someday

When I was younger I could fit all my dreams into one word: Someday. That wonderful day when everything would be as I imagined it to be. It wasn't a question of if, it was a question of when and it was always there, sitting on the horizon, waiting for me. But as I've gotten older, the idea of "someday" has changed for me. I don't see things in the distance any longer. I don't rest in the comfort of something I'm sure is waiting for me in the not to distant future. These days I live more in the present. I find satisfaction in the gifts of the moment. I think this makes for a much more balanced and happier life. And yet I miss the potential of childhood- when you had a million paths to a future that you need only pick a direction. I miss the vague and mystical notion of destiny and wonder and the safety of all the time in the world to find your way. I miss the silly idea that you could imagine this other person- someone who looks like you, sounds like you- but isn't you. It's the better version of you that lives in Someday. It's the version that's cool and successful and clever and wise. The version whose words seem scripted and people admire. The thing is- Someday still exists- the future is always there and we never stop having the potential for greatness- the trick is remembering that we have to make peace with who and what we are today. Maybe I'm too old to think about life the way I did when I was 12, and while I may miss that naiveté, I'm doing my best to appreciate right now.