I left this in the bathroom of a gas station that you had to pay a quarter to use. When I left, a man hurriedly pushed past me- possibly to avoid having to pay, or perhaps he really needed to relieve himself. Either way, it was only then that it occurred to me that very soon he'd be wiping his butt with my face. Which I've decided is going to be the title of my autobiography. "Wiping His Butt With My Face: The Morley Story."