I was posting this somewhere in South Los Angeles. There was a nearby hobo (or perhaps just a man who dressed in a hobo-esque fashion) who was standing around with no discernable activity. With my back to him, he apparently saw me and yelled "You need to take off those skinny ass jeans, they make you look like a faggot!" The first thing I thought was "Wow, was this hobo part of the wrestling team at my old high school?Because he sure knows how to talk the talk! I bet he knows some killer arm bar moves."
Generally my method of dealing with situations like this is to act as though I didn't even hear it- which generally ganers the response that the hobo gave- which is to just repeat his taunt louder, like a man at a party who told a joke that no one laughed at, he decides to wait for a moment until there is a clear moment of silence to repeat the joke, expecting a different reaction- except that everyone heard his joke the first time and didn't think it was funny, so the second time he says it, they polity chuckle. "YOU NEED TO TAKE OFF THOSE SKINNY ASS JEANS, THEY MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A FAGGOT!"
Part of me considered turning to him and with a stereotypical "flamer" voice yelling "Okay sexy man, if you insist, I'll take these jeans RIGHT off- but YOU have to take off that pair of stained sweatpants so we can go SKINNY DIPPING! It was either that or "Bitch, please- if you want to hook up, you gotta send me a Grinder message first!" but I don't know if that's how Grinder works and chances are the hobo wouldn't get the reference to the gay hook up smart phone app anyway. I decided to go with neither and just took my picture and walked away.
Incidentally, my jeans are really not that tight. I'm a big believer in comfort over style and super skinny jeans are just not my thing- I mean, they're not stained sweat pants either but they're not skin tight by any means. I guess I'm just smarting because I normally get all my fashion advice from hobos and this guy just really cut to the bone. I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover.