In Charge of The Parachute

Wilshire & Mariposa.

I put this up in front of a large strip of businesses, small restaurants and smoothie joints.

When I moved to Los Angeles in 2006, I took work as a substitute teacher. I had been doing this for the previous two years and in some ways it was the perfect job for me. It allowed me to work only when I wanted/needed to. It promised that the latest I would ever have to work would be 3:30pm and it paid relativly well. Some days I thought I could do this job forever, those were the days when I'd show the first 45 minutes of a movie like October Sky to six different science classes or guide a group of second graders through the awkwardly phoenetic lyrics to "Under The Sea" (feeling slightly racist as I read "Er'y 'tings hotta unduh dee wattah, unduh da sea!" from a sheet to a class of African American children). Heck, I got to teach gym classes where we did those games with the parachute, remember that? You take a parachute, throw some foam balls on that bad boy and you've got some capital F.U.N on your hands boys and girls and I GOT TO BE IN CHARGE OF IT! Talk about a dream come true! (NOTE: this may sound sarchastic, but I assure it is not.) Yes, there were many days that I loved my job, even the silly "Under the Sea" days.

And then there were the other days. Death threats from junior high kids who claimed their brothers were in the Crips and they'd do a drive-by if I didn't let them have a bathroom pass with their friend, parents angry that I took away a little mini skateboard from their son who was loudly racing it across his desk and slapping it down while the class was supposed to be taking a test "that Tech Deck cost eight dollers, you GONNA give it back!" Kids that would run into the class room between classes, grab a trash can, launch it across the room, scattering trash everywhere and then run away, laughing like the demons wearing human skin that they must have truly been. I'm not making this stuff up, guys. You can't punish these kids either. You send them to the office, they won't go- or if you get a security guard to take them, the office sends them back five minutes later, a detention slip in their hands that they have no intention of showing up for. They don't care if they get suspended or even expelled! It's like the world of the Road Warrior and I was just the kid with the boomerang that has no lines, just grunts and gets slapped a lot. The only law was the clock and how long it would take to run out the day. 

ANYWAY...

When I came to Los Angeles, despite having subbed for two years prior, I had to take a week long training course. The course, as it turned out felt a touch like summer camp. The group of people at each table had to do a lot of teaching exercises together and because most of the younger people had chosen to sit at the same table, we started a sort of "Community" style click. The block of stores that I put this poster in front of was where we'd get lunch from time to time. I mostly remember it because of the following...

I was telling a joke to a group of people, it was a good one, evidenced not only by the laughter that followed but by one girl saying: "I LITTERALLY JUST PEE'D MY PANTS A LITTLE! HAHAHA!" 

I played it off because I didn't want to embarass her but... Really? Maybe she was joking, I know, people say "litterally" all the time and they don't actually mean it but the inclusion of "just a little" makes me think that she actually did. Who quantifies the amount they pee'd if they're kidding? No one, that's who. 

The rest of the day all I could think was: How much pee is a little? If I got close enough, would I smell the pee? Is it cold and uncomfortable? Or was it like just a few drops? But then, how would you know that you pee'd if it was only a few drops? At what point, if she's just letting it soak, should she start thinking about infections? 

A lot of people would take someone telling them "I litterally just pee'd my pants" as a compliment. I on the other hand, am only concerned with hygine, because that's just the kind of guy I am.

None of this has much to do with the poster, it's just what I think of when I see this strip of stores.